Sunday, April 18, 2004

MOODY GARDENS

This should really be called Moody Parents.

Background:
Rich and I decided that we have been all really working hard and needed a break. A weekend get-a-way would be pefect. After finally settling on Moody Gardens we informed the kids. They were thrilled.

Trip:
The drive there was great. Good timing on the Ferry and everything! We noticed the "main drag" had barricades on the cut throughs and the cops were all sitting outside under tents with chairs and icechests, but didn't pay much mind to it. We should have asked. Traffic was light and the beach was blocked off so that you could only go one way. This, along with the barricades, made you go in one huge loop from the beach, up a road until the main drag, down the main drag until you hit another side road and then you were at the beach again. Okay, whatever.

Moody Gardens was a blast. We opted for a per person day pass. This enabled us to see all the exhibits, ride the paddle boat and watch a 3-D IMaxx movie. Whoopie! We could have spent the entire day at one exhibit! So much learning! The kids and I loved it. Rich was okay with it. Guess he didn't grow up having vacations like this. I did - it was every-chance-you-got learning! FUN!

It was the off season so things were not packed and you had plenty of time to see each exhibit. We toured the Aquarium and the Rain Forest, watched the 3-D movie and went on the Paddle Boat around the bay.

Before we knew it 6pm here and we were starving. We opted to forego eating at Moody Gardens and go to a nice restaurant instead.

The one-way driving should have clued us in. This weekend was Beach Party Weekend. Imagine 150,000 college spring breakers. OMG. I have never been so disgusted in so long.

Let me just say this:

1. Drive. This means keep the traffic moving. Do not park your car in the street and leave it while you are hugging and groping on the "girls gone wild in Galveston" as they girate and grind. It was so slow that people would actually get out of their vehicles, go to the port-a-potty and come back to the car and it had not moved!!! One truck had BBQ pit in the back and were able to cook this way because the traffic moved so slow. It took us 4 hours to go 22 miles or less. This was with 4 lanes of traffic.

2. Do not drive like an idiot. This means drive straight. Do not cut your wheels as though you are going to enter the lane of traffic on the side of us only to cut your wheels back the other way and to the same to the opposite lane of traffic. They did this over and over again. So every car was zig-zagged down the road. Annoying! If someone lets you go head of them into their lane of traffic, please do not stop and let 5 of your buddies go ahead of you now so that you will all be in the same lane. You WILL see them again I promise, and even have time to get out and check out each others' rides!

3. Girls. Control yourselves. Do not girate and grind in a guys face while bending over and then stand straight and pull your bathing suit or shorts out of the crack of your ass. That suddenly matters now? Do not allow boy after boy to film you or take your digi pic as you hump the air and your best friend hikes up your skirt so we all know what color undies or thong you have on. Thongs. They are okay if you have the body. If you are riding as a passenger on your man's motorcycle and your dainty lil feet are propped ever so nicely on the foot pedals so that your behind is now heart shaped and your bossom is nestled deep into his back.. please make sure your skirt is long enough for you to sit on it to hold it down. We do not want to see your thong and your butt cheeks totally exposed. If you want to be so brazen as to not even wear a thong with your skirt, as it sits flopped up on your hips due to the breeze, please be sure your aforementioned cheeks are not full of scars!! I couldn't help but wonder what kinda man wants his girlfriend riding on the back his bike while all the other men get a good eye shot of what he's getting in private. If their mamm's only saw them!

4. Buy clothes that fit. If you have to hike up your pants every three steps you take, they are too big. What's so attractive about our shorts riding low on your hips and seeing your underwear? Okay, so we can see that you can afford to buy JoeBoxers. Geeze. Get a life. Keep your clothes ON your body and let the women use a lil imagination! We don't want a peep show in public. If you have to walk and hold your shorts/pants up the entire time, they again are too big. One guy had a rodeo belt buckle on and the thing was so heavy he had to walk the entire time holding onto the buckle so his pants would stay on. What's the point?

5. CHILDREN SHOULD NOT PERMITTED TO BE THERE. Our children were with us. We did not want to be there. These people had children (either their own or lil siblings) I watched the van in front of us for hours as these two girls, ages 8 or so and 11, jumped out and humped the air, tootsie rolled and shook their tail ends for all to see each time the traffic came to a stop. The 8-year-old was constantly looking around to see if anyone was watching her. She took lots of pics with a digi camera of all kinds of guys and girls. While these children thought it was FUN to be a part of this adult party, I could only image what their views would become on casual sex and giving oral under the table in the library in high school later on in life.

6. Pot/drinking. We saw and smelled so much that I'm amazed we were not high ourselves. I guess the exhaust fumes counteracted it.

7. Music. The truck behind us played the music so loud that it was pointless to turn our radio on. Our empty stomachs vibrated for 4 hours as this asshole played the same song over and over. Baaaarump. Bump. Buuuuuuuuuuuummp. Baaaaarummpity-bump. Ugh! At one point Jessica screamed into her pillow and said 'WILL YOU JUST STOP ALREADY!?"

If we would have been 18-21, this would have been THE perfect weekend. Everyone was all about meeting others, having a good time and showing off their pimped rides. I saw so many tvs in cars and stereo systems that were worth more than my house and cars combined! There was no violence (though a few times we started getting worried) and everyone was generally nice.

I may sound really old, but I'm okay with that!! I did party hard when I was younger, but I always had morals! You can have a good time and not let everyone see ya bidniss!

We left Moody Gardens at 6pm. Boarded the ferry at 10:07 and ate supper at midnight. We drove all they way home and arrived at 2pm. I was so tired. We decided our next trip would consist of Rich and Daniel going on a 1/2 day fishing trip in the Gulf and the girls and I would shop the Strand and we'd all play on the beach the next day. We'll go back and visit the remainder of Moody Gardens too. I'll also check the calender of events a bit closer next time and have a map of Galveston handy!

Talk about a whirlwind weekend!

No comments: