Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Erin's? Oohhh, errands!

Yes, errands galore today. I have a headache from rushing around and it was hot. It felt wonderful this morning, then got really hot. I cannot wait for Fall. I love fall. In hopes to push the arrival of Fall much sooner, I bought Sarah a lightweight jacket today. We are supposed to have a mild, wet winter. This jacket will be perfect. I'm waiting on the stores to get jackets in for the other two kiddos. I need a new one too. I think it's time to retire my other one. Should be interesting. I want a nice one, but casual. I want one that I can wear when going out too. Maybe I should just make my own? I have a pattern... I do. Somewhere. Oh that's right. I just don't have TIME anymore! ack! But I'd love a new fleece jacket.

Time for zzzzz, I missed taking my nap today and I can feel it.


Friday, August 27, 2004

Meeting friends/Password update

Even meet people online, get to know them and then wonder how they are in REAL life? I've been online over 11 years and have met online and offline, some really neat people.

I met Derbs. How she is online is just how she is offline. COOL. We became really good friends online and she was just one of those people who you just gotta meet in real life too. And we did. It just made our friendship that much tighter.

And I knew the same could happen with a new person I met online. And it did. Karen came home to Louisiana (how on earth I find friends online from La I'll never know!) the past week and we were able to hook up. I was so disappointed when it seemed like we weren't gonna be able to meet. But fate has a way of working things out. Our visit wasn't as long as we'd like, but I tell ya... I felt so at ease, like seeing an old friend. Her kids are beautiful and just as polite - because I know she raised them with Southerness (wink). Karen and I have so much in common. We think alike in a lot of ways. And the few ways we don't, we respect that and agree to disagree. She's been there for me and I've been there for her. I never felt that awkwardness you sometimes get when you talk to someone online and then met them only to discover they really weren't how they portrayed themselves. We could have talked for days and days but she had to mosey on down the road and get back on the highway. One day I'll make it out there for a girls weekend or we may meet in Vegas! Who knows. In the meantime, we'll talk and giggle online with cams and call each other for GUESS WHO on the cell phone.

I'm glad I met Karen online, and I'm glad we've become friends. I also know our friendship is that much tighter since we met in person.

Ya know, I don't wish ill on anyone..well..maybe once in awhile. But I've come to learn that I can NEVER do to them what Karma will bring back to them. So now I just wish that I am there to witness the payback. hahaha Lemme tell ya, from where I am sitting... it's looking good! And I'm not just talking about the IS girl.

The sign on project started with all incoming (new) employees. They would be given the 3-4 number (three letters, four numbers) to sign on with. Eventually all the existing employees would be issued 3-4 numbers. Guess they finally got around to eventually. The girl in IS called our department and wanted to know if I had outlook. Certain people in each department have outlook - those who are directors and those who do special projects. The IS girl wanted to know why she could not find my outlook address. Uhm, could be because I don't have one!? So the girl in our department gives IS girl my home number and tells her to call me after 3. Never heard a peep. Nothing.

Next morning I cannot sign on!? DUH! Don't go changing people's sign on code and not tell them anything!? Geeze. I didn't think that was so hard to figure out. Especially since I'll be working at 6:30 and she will still be sleeping! HELLO?


Work is rough - the other gal and I are typing our fingers to the bone! OH well, next week I'll be cooking/cleaning and wishing I had work to do. It all evens out.

Bake sale this weekend at church. I'm making a lemon pound cake, cookies, and if I get a breather I'll make some brownies.

One kid wants to go to a friends, another wants to go with a friend skating..the other just wants to DO something fun. Maybe we'll rent movies?

It's work weekend up at the camp. Rich will be home on Saturday. I get butterflies in my stomach when he drives up - even after 16 years! Must be love.

I've got lots of errands for school supplies and school uniforms (hopefully stores have restocked!) and I have to work this weekend. I found out yesterday that it's gonna be Dr. W. I'm not too fond of him, but I'll make do.

Off to type my bones into nubs!

Thursday, August 26, 2004


We all have them. Are they necessary? YES. At least my one for work is! GRRR. Some new chick in IS just assigned 3-4 numbers to us. Three letters, 4 numbers. That's our new passwords. No more using our own passwords that make us smile to use them when we think of them. Okay, so a permanent password is cool. No more having to float between 2 of them and remember which one is in use currently. If you enter the wrong password too many times the keyboard will be locked for 60 seconds. Although, I've figured out how to go around that. LOL The IS chick called the office yesterday to ask if I had outlook. Uhm, no, nobody thought it was important enough for me to have when I was doing the upgrade so I'm the only one in the upgrade group that doesn't have it. The gal in the office gave the IS chick my home phone number and told her I stopped working at 3. Never heard a word. Guess what? She assigned me a 3-4 number. Yeah. And only SHE knows it. Not a good thing to do when you don't GIVE the person their new number. I start work at 6:30 am. I type all that important stuff that HAS to be on your chart before you can have surgery. It's now 7am and nobody has called me back. Not a good thing on a busy thursday!! ACK. And somehow, just something tells me, I will be blamed for this. Why didn't *I* call IS chick back? NOT MY JOB!


Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Lots to share!

Where to start??

Mamma cat has not been seen. Her babies were taken this morning to the animal hospital by a neighbor who works there. I would have LOVED to keep one of her babies..but I can't. The porch seems so empty. No lil babies crying, playing, biting, climbing. Hope they find good, loving homes.

I made some yummy brownies from scratch and some chicken tetrazinni.. MMMM Good eating. Even the kids can't wait to dive in.

Yesterday on our outing to get kitty bottles and milk, we discovered the basket next to our truck has a case of walmart diet cokes in the bottom. I was in the parking lot waiting for the kiddos to return with the kitty stuff and Daniel noticed it. We waited for a bit. Nobody returned to claim them. Hope we were not on hidden cameras LOL We picked em up. Hey, can't let them go to waste now, can we?

I'M GOING TO MINNESOTA! Yeah! I'll be spending time with friends I met online many years ago through a parents email loop I started. We became good friends and decided to meet due to another gal in our loop having cancer. We planned a surprise visit to see her and would all meet each other. She passed as we were all in route to see her. Being there together when we got the news of her passing was very comforting. We decided to keep the visits going and every couple of years it works out that we get our schedules on the same page and meet. This year we are headed for Minn! Whoo hoo! I'm gonna drive my family crazy until I leave.

We all have anal neighbors, or neighbors who are a bit too nosey for their own good. Read aboutEmily's wonderful neighbors and see if you can help her out there.

We have a Mrs. Re-Tard (Richard- pronounced Ree-shard for all you non southerns). This woman hates animals. Every Monday morning there would be messages at the pound waiting for the first lucky soul to arrive for work. They'd all stand around listening and picking straws to see who was the lucky one to go get another vicious animal out of her yard. I know these things because I have connections. They'd usually arrive to find the vicious creature had transformed into a cutzie lil dawg who unfortunately got caught up Mrs. Re-Tard's busy-bodiness.

I should say she USE to hate animals. That was until her son dumped his dalmation in her lap. Now she LOVES this dog! I have a feeling he don't like her too much. Why? Because she walks this dog at 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, and again at 6pm. If you have a supper going on or some other function at your house, she's been known to walk Oreo again at 8pm. No doubt to see what's up in the "hood." If she sees something of interest she will walk her dog 2 laps up and down the road. Or better, she gets her husband to walk with her on her second lap around the hood. When they have company they take the car. Yes, they parade their company up and down the road while pointing at each house and giving updates of things. She called one of the neighbors to inform them that she KNEW their kids were home alone after school. Uhm, yah, and?? She called another neighbor to ask them when the fence was going up. They had no clue what she was talking about and she ARGUED with them about some fence. The wife finally understood what Mrs. Re-Tard was talking about and had to laugh. Their neighbors were putting up a fence and had asked her husband if they could store the rolls of fencing on the property line. the husband hadn't even had a chance to tell his wife before Re-Tard was calling! She spread around once that a neighbor had her arm broken by her husband when infact the woman had fallen at a church while garage saling. I don't think Mrs. Re-Tard was too happy when Ms. Laurie met her on the street and told her to stop spreading rumors that were not true or she'd show her a thing or two.

Mrs. Re-Tard told Rich (she don't speak to me after I told her to stop letting her dog POOP at my mailbox. I have acre, go all over there, please skip the four feet I have to walk to get my mail!) she told Rich she was scared of our kids. They were 7 and 10 at the time. She was scared because when she walked her dog they road their bike close to her and skated close to her. Rich suggested she not be so mean to them and she wouldn't have anything to worry about. She snubbed her nose on that one. Then he suggested she walk on HER END Of the road. She claimed she had to walk her dog down here because he wouldn't shit in her yard and won't "go" unless she exercised him. HELLO? My dog is on an acre too and very much poops all by herself. I think she caught on that I was timing to checking my mail each time she walked her dog. hahaha

One of the other neighbors told her the same thing about their mailbox. She started carrying a tuna can nailed on the end of a stick to scoop it up. We were all outside on the neighbors porch drinking coffee one morning and yup, Mrs. Re-Tard came strolling by. When Vickie hollered "please don't let your dog shit at my mail box," Mrs. Re-Tard promptly pulled out her stick and flicked poo into the ditch. With her hand on her hip she screeched back, "Are you happy now??" Vickie retorted with "Oh great, just what we wanted. Shit flying when we weedeat the ditches now!" hahaha omg, I think we all spit our coffee out on that one.

Who'd your neighborhood busibody? What's the worse thing they ever did? But more importantly, how did you get even? We really wanna know!

Monday, August 23, 2004

Got Milk?

That's what my six baby kitties are asking. Their mamma doesn't seem to be coming back. She was a good mamma too. Gonna miss her.

We raced to PetSmart (ya know, where they sell dog coffins) and got some kitten milk and bottles. Those poor lil babies were soo hungry. You could hear the milk hit the empty tummy. I'll have to stop my neighbor in the morning on her way to work. She works for a vet, who was going to spay the mamma and her babies..and give the babies a good home. Guess they will get them early. Bless their lil hearts. I'd love to keep them all, but I just can't. This will bring us down to 2 cats - one male, one female (spayed).

Time to get to bed. I've got to get up early in the morning to feed breakfast and get them ready for travel. I hate this. Such is life.

I promise. I do have a good story to share. Maybe tomorrow :)

Saturday, August 21, 2004

30 yrs

Last night was a party for friends who have been married for 30 yrs. In 30 yrs I'm sure they have been thru a lot together. Some they'd like to forget, and some they will remember always.

Rich met me there on his way home from work. He had to work the next day, so he wasn't able to stay too late. We had fun catching up with friends we haven't seen in a good while. It was nice.

The night progressed and those with younger kids left and that dwindled down the crowd some. The "adult" music - cajun, country and the occasional oldie - were enjoyed by all. Man, can we get crazy! Wine and beer was flowing... couples were swapping dancing partners. It's really nice to be able to dance with many people and know they aren't trying to take you home! :) Friends danced with friends (the girls) and the men did the occasional obscene gestures to each other and whooped and hollered when the women got frisky on the dance floor.

The last song of the evening was a slow song and everyone ended up dancing with their partners. Of course, Rich wasn't there, but the peace and love in that room as the couples danced.... I watched each couple as they danced. Newly weds, parents-to-be, couples who have been married 25+ yrs, tall and short mixed with fluffy and thin, couple of all kinds. Some danced holding each other tight as they danced in their own familiar steps that only they knew, some were silly, some were serious. But in each couple you could see the same thing - Their love for each other. The bond that time, problems and triumphs have a way bring couples together.

As they danced I thought of Rich and our last 16 yrs... one day we will celebrate our own 30th Anniversary. And I cannot wait!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


My toe hurts. I think I have the starts of an ingrown toenail. Hate that.

Hit the grocery store. I hate to shop, but give me a grocery store and I could go plumb-D-crazee! I don't know why. I've got to limit my spending. Lots to put up in the freezer tho. JUSTIFIED! LOL

Friday is a party for a friend and I've volunteered to make desserts. I'm making a lemon pound cake, rice crispie treats, granola bars, and maybe some choco/peanut butter thingies. Oh, and I wanted to make a pasta salad, but I think I've talked myself into making it Sunday when we BBQ. MMMM.

The kids are enjoying school and I'm enjoying the quiet during the day. No dishes piling up, no clothes dragging around, no argueing, no in and out the door, no extra phone calls... nice.

Time to hit the hay! Me and my throbbing toe. ugh.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I ain't skeered!

Rich is at the camp. I'm home alone. No biggie. I've been doing shift work for over 11 yrs now... and had babies back then! Just the other night my sister asked if I was ever scared staying home alone at night. Nope. I have a BIG dog and really good neighbors. I know how to shoot a gun and you'd better hope my aiming is good or else you'll be left severely maimed.

Rich called last night and I said that dern dawg barked all night! From 12 to 4 she kept me tossing and turning. She's not much of a barker, and she really only seems to bark when he is not here! ARGH! I tell Rich that if she barks tonight I'm chaining her up. She becomes depressed and doesn't bark. But then, I'm alone. All alone. And it's dark.

Yup, she's a barking. And growling. And walking all over the yard just a barking.. and growling and not just "passing messages along" like they did in 101 Dalmation's either. After an hour I can't take it anymore. She's GOT to be barking for a reason. I go outside. She's jumping all around the back yard and barking toward the underneath of the house as if something is under it. And she's not happy about this something being there. It shows. She won't come to me. Another sign she is 'fixed' on her prey. She's a hunting dawg. If you think kids can tune you out... you ain't seen Zoe! She eats, sleeps and breaths hunting. It's in her blood. Can't turn that off. Great.

I figured it was a cat underneath the house and she had it cornered. I walk from the backyard to the fence that runs from the corner of your house out to butt up against the fence that runs along the side of the property. HOLY SMOKE. The frigging grass is swaying and something is trying to burrow. Zoe is barking and standing between me and the something. She jumps back, bares her teeth and stands her ground not budging any further. I can see the back of whatever this something is. If it's a skunk, I'mma die! No, I don't smell anything so it's not a skunk. Hmmm....

I run back thru the house and grabbed the flashlight as I'm headed for the front porch. That corner of the house is dark and as I'm standing on the edge of the porch trying to light up the area with no luck. Our house is off the ground and I have a flower bed that runs down the length of porch. Something is moving on the ground between the edge of the porch and the flower bed. Something big. And I can FOLLOW THE SOUND AS IT MOVES AND I CAN SEE THE LONG LEAVES OF THE IRIS'S MOVING AS IT MAKES IT WAY ACROSS THE FLOWER BED OMGOSH!!! The cat is hauling butt and there I stand. Frozen. I'm thinking this must be a coon. A big as a small pig kinda coon! What if this COON jumps on the porch wanting to eat the catfood. EEEEEEEK! The cat jumps across the porch. I screamed! Darn cat! Here comes the sound again! I'm backing up to the door just in case. The something must be scared too because it is hauling tail back to the safety of the darkened corner of the house. Then the light hits it...


Dangit! Go home, Armadillo! I wanna go to bed. Once Zoe could SEE it she really started freaking out. I swear that dawg is foaming at the mouth to catch that critter who scared her mamma. She wants to show Mr. Armadillo that you don't mess with her family when Daddy ain't home! Now she will spend all night running up and down the fences in earnest to find this trespasser and give him his due.

Gotta love living in the South!

Monday, August 16, 2004

ya hear that?

SILENCE! School is in session!

As much as I'll miss them, I know they are excited to go back and see friends and form close-knit relationships that will last a lifetime. The oldest two hopped the bus. I brought the youngest one. She has the same teacher her sister had. This teached LOVED Jessica. Look out, I have a feeling Sarah will be called Jessica all year. And I know the teacher means no harm, but think of the student. They have their own identity and are struggling to break away from being known as "jessica's lil sister." Heck, my kids look so much alike even Daniel was called "jessica's lil brother." GRRR They are people and have names! Use them. OH well...

I saw many happy faces and a few crying kids. Most were pre-K. They were so tiny to be going off to school. One lil girl's mouth was frozen in a half-opened, turned down frown. No sound, but she was having trouble seeing due to the tears in her eyes. What mother wouldn't fear they were doing something traumatic to their child by MAKING them attend?? I'm so glad all mine were eager to go and learn. Whew!

The bird seems lost. The hampsters sleep all day anyways. The cats will miss Sarah petting them when she's outside playing. I'll miss the giggles and yes, gasp, even the arguing during the day. But, it will be oh so nice to nibble on my favorite snacks and not be hounded for "a bite." LOL

Can't wait to hear how the first day was!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Summer has officially ended

Summer of over! The kids are counting down the hours. I'm so glad school starts on a Monday this year.

Clothes are pressed and ready. Supplied are labeled. New undies and socks are opened in the drawer awaiting.

The kids have eaten supper already - it's 5:00! - in hopes that it will rush the time and 6 am will be here.

I'll take Sarah to school and then come home and type in a quiet, clean house!

I pulled spag. from the freezer. Thank goodness I had it there. Make the day much easier. I baked up a few muffins, biscuits, sausage for breakfasts' this week.

Now I need to find some change for lunches...and get the checks written for supply fees.


Thursday, August 12, 2004

Eye Appt.

I went to the eye doctor today. I've been fighting dry eye for almost two weeks now. I have no tears. No lubrication. No pain, but it's annoying.

He seems to think i have an allergy in my eye. Uhm, okay. Drops for three weeks and then return to see him. He agreed my eyes are really dry and he kept asking if they hurt. Guess I have a high tolerance for pain!

I go to make the appt for three weeks later and the woman gives me ONE date.. at a time I cannot make. So I ask what she had the following week. Her reply was, "Well, he really wants to see you in THREE weeks. That will make it almost four." My reply? Gosh, I'm so snippy in my old age. I retorted with, "Actually, it will only be 3 1/2 weeks. And I really don't have much of a choice to wait 3 1/2 weeks when you give me one date/time to pick from and I cannot make it. I don't see what waiting THREE days is going to change." Why do people have to be so persnickity? After my appt was at 3:45 today, I saw the doctor at 4:15. That's 45 mins AFTER my appt. If YOU cannot keep YOUR appt, why should I conform to meet your dates/times? No Can Do. Lump it or make my appt when *I* can make it. And she did!


Me and my dry eyes are off to bed!

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Never assume you know

Never assume you know what your kids are talking about.

Sarah tells me she needs to talk to me about.... her private parts.

Hmm, okay. I'm not prude, and hopefully my kids will find it easier to discuss delicate situations.

We started with basic questions:

Does it hurt?
Does it hurt really bad?
Has it hurted a long time?
Not really.
Is it swollen?
I dunno. (Panic look)
Do I need to look at it?
Do you need a doctor to look at it?
What KIND of pain is it?
Like a bruise.
Did someone hit you?
I don't think so.
Did someone touch you? (trying to maintain calmness)
uhmm. (was that a pause???) noooo. (she's look at me insane!)

She's on the verge of tears telling me she HAS to tell me this, but it's just soo hard.

Would you like to write it down?
I thought of that, no.
Would you like to talk to daddy?

At this point it's adding up - tummy aches, growth spurt, training bras, age of 9...

NO!? Yes?! Poor thing. How do you delicately ask??

Well, hunny, I can't give you medicine for a bruise..i have to know what KIND of pain. Did you swim a lot over the weekend at the camp?


Maybe you have sand in your suit? And sand it scratch you. And it will hurt.

Uhm, mom... do you KNOW what private part i'm talking about?

At this point I'm totally lost.

It starts with an N.

N???? Is this gonna be one of those words she heard incorrectly? Will I be able to keep a straight face? Heck, will I be able to figure it out before midnight??

I calmly say, well, you told me privates, so i'm assuming your bottom. Correct?

Uhm, no. Higher.

Lost. OHOOOOO. Hunny, you can say boobs!

She cringes. That's so gross mom!!!

So it hurts?

YES! Bad.

Oh hunny. I can give you Motrin! Your body is developing..

MOM! STop. Give me the motrin so I can go watch tv.

So much for a mother-daughter talk.

Good thing I didn't opt to ask some really in depth questions.

Whew. Never assume with a kid!

All is well in our house. Do you have some Motrin handy?

Sunday, August 08, 2004

One of those weeks...

It's been one of those weeks, or two, that makes my love for my husband even stronger. Every family goes thru struggles. "We will get thru this," to quote my husband. I don't know what I'd do without him. When all my strength is gone, when there isn't even a speck of light at the end of the tunnel, when life just seems too hard, when I can't even think of putting one foot in front of the other, he's there. A hug, a wink, a half-hearted smile, he knows just what I need at that moment. Then the roles reversed. He was down, way down. I picked him up and carried him. *I* made things better. And he let me. Amazing how our lives unfold.

Besides all THAT, we are busier than ever. Yes, inspite of the drama, life does go on. Things still need to be done and people taken places and phone calls made and smiles are soon on our faces when old friends stop by for a visit, oblivious to what is happening in our lives. For a few hours we were able to push all THAT to the side and enjoy company.

We are private people and prefer to maintain our closeknit-tightness and not air our dirty laundry. It just works for us.

We will get thru this.


Rich took the kids up to the camp for the weekend. Save my sanity! I thought of all the things I could be doing! Wow. NO interruptions. Blah! This is my time to rest. To clear my head. To find myself again. Reconnect. Ahhh, bliss!

I stopped at the library, ran into my BIL, and also found the book I have been looking for. Score! I've spent all last night, reading, playing backgammon on the computer, reading, tv, reading, talking on the phone and yes, reading!

Meals? Omgosh. I'd be thin if I was single LOL I say that as the cookie dough is defrosting on the cabinet. MMMM, can't wait. I thought I'd go out and get something. Nah, I don't want to have to get dressed. Knock-about shorts and tshirt, messy hair and my unwashed face. Bliss I tell ya. Pure bliss. I draw the line at going with unbrushed teeth. Sorry.

I thought about going to the movies. Notebook, to be exact. But I don't think the people beside me would appreciate my sobbing. From what I hear, it's that kind of movie. I'd prefer to blow my nose and shudder-cry in the privacy of my own home. On that note, maybe I'll pop in Titanic or even Gone With The Wind tonight. The option is totally mine.

My neighbor graciouslly picked up one of my mamma cats to have her spayed at her office. One mamma cat just had 6, YES SIX, babies. ACK! Soon as these are weaned, snip, snip! No more babies! My neighbor feels she can adopt them out after they've been fixed. She's a strong advocate of spaying/neutering. Yeah! No more babies. IT's a pain to go let mamma cat in/out of her box, but it sure beats her toting her babies off to undisclosed locations only to have the neighbor knock on my door in her robe telling me the babies were under her house, under her tub, and she was afraid she would scald them when she ran her bath water. Bless her heart. And the heart of her grandson as he climbed under there to retrieve them for us. Say it with me, no more babies! Soon! Want a baby? I'll have it "fixed" for you!

Now for the gross part. You didn't think my weekend would be totally uneventful, did you?? I was blog reading. Actually, blog hopping. One leads to another and another... I stumbled across this Maintaining One's Shit What joy to find someone else has a near out-of-body experience having seen one of these foul creatures. :::shudder::: I'm lying across my bed, happily reading one of my books, Newlyweds is playing on the tv and I'm totally lost in my book. Suddenly. Plop. A brown blob falls from out of the sky onto my bed. Wha? HUH? OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS. YES. A huge cockroach. The "landing" must have startled him as much as it did me. We were both frozen for a fleeting second. I jumped up, after screaming like a fool, and found the nearest shoe. All the anger from reading the previous blog welled up. You damned bug SMACK! SMASH! Smoosh. Ugh. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm luck I didn't loose my lunch. Supper is out of the question. Rich won't be home until Monday or Tuesday. I can't, just can't pick it up! GROSS. Maybe I'll sweep it later. I'm too nauseated right now. Bugs are just plain gross. Really gross. All the recent rain doesn't help matters. I'm just really thankful he landed on the bed and NOT in my messy hair. I'm telling ya, I would have been bald in 7.2 seconds.

Oh, I submitted my dog coffin post to a magazine via online. I"ll let ya know what becomes of it. Thanks for the 'push'.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Dog Coffin???

I now know where I get my sense of humor. My mother!

Let me set this up for you. Dad wanted a new BBQ pit. He needed a truck. I drove him to get the pit and we were in the process of unloading it when the neighbor's nephew stopped on his bike. It's around 8:30 p.m. and there is a street light, but still hard to see. Below is the conversation:

Boy: Oh! What is that?

Mom: A coffin. Our dog died.

Me: A coffin. (did mom just say a coffin too??)

Mom and dad wheel the pit to the back yard and I"m waiting for them to come back and get the wood in the back of the truck.

Boy: Awww, the dog died. It wasn't that fluffy one was it? (neighbor's dog)

Me: No, don't think so.

Boy: Dog coffin? How much do they cost?

Me: Oh, I don't know. I didn't pay for it.

Boy: I don't think I've ever seen a dog coffin before. Where do you GET a dog coffin??

Me: MMMmm.. PetSmart.

Boy: Oh. Is that wood?

Me: Yes. We have to cremate him.

Boy: In the coffin?

Me: Well, ....yeah.

Boy: oh man. I wonder if there is gonna be some popping noises?

Me: I'm sure there will be.

Boy: Are yall gonna do it tonight?

Me: On no. It's too late tonight.

Boy: You think it's gonna stink??

Me: Oh, I'm sure you will be able to smell it.

(mom and dad are coming up the side of the house)

Me: Hey, don't forget yall have this wood back here.

Mom: Oh yes, we need it to cremate the dog.

Me: (did she just say CREMATE!?)

I'm sure that lil boy will be just WAITING for them to cremate the dog today. Now, dontcha know when dad fires up that pit and that meat starts smelling good.. and then they EAT it! Oh gosh. My sides hurt from laughing so hard when I told mom and dad the conversation they missed!

I bet that kid didn't sleep a wink!