Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Never assume you know

Never assume you know what your kids are talking about.

Sarah tells me she needs to talk to me about.... her private parts.

Hmm, okay. I'm not prude, and hopefully my kids will find it easier to discuss delicate situations.

We started with basic questions:

Does it hurt?
Yes
Does it hurt really bad?
Yes
Has it hurted a long time?
Not really.
Is it swollen?
I dunno. (Panic look)
Do I need to look at it?
NO
Do you need a doctor to look at it?
NO!
What KIND of pain is it?
Like a bruise.
Did someone hit you?
I don't think so.
Did someone touch you? (trying to maintain calmness)
uhmm. (was that a pause???) noooo. (she's look at me insane!)

She's on the verge of tears telling me she HAS to tell me this, but it's just soo hard.

Would you like to write it down?
I thought of that, no.
Would you like to talk to daddy?
NO!!

At this point it's adding up - tummy aches, growth spurt, training bras, age of 9...

NO!? Yes?! Poor thing. How do you delicately ask??

Well, hunny, I can't give you medicine for a bruise..i have to know what KIND of pain. Did you swim a lot over the weekend at the camp?

Yes.

Maybe you have sand in your suit? And sand it scratch you. And it will hurt.

Uhm, mom... do you KNOW what private part i'm talking about?

At this point I'm totally lost.

It starts with an N.

N???? Is this gonna be one of those words she heard incorrectly? Will I be able to keep a straight face? Heck, will I be able to figure it out before midnight??

I calmly say, well, you told me privates, so i'm assuming your bottom. Correct?

Uhm, no. Higher.

Lost. OHOOOOO. Hunny, you can say boobs!

She cringes. That's so gross mom!!!

So it hurts?

YES! Bad.

Oh hunny. I can give you Motrin! Your body is developing..

MOM! STop. Give me the motrin so I can go watch tv.

So much for a mother-daughter talk.

Good thing I didn't opt to ask some really in depth questions.

Whew. Never assume with a kid!

All is well in our house. Do you have some Motrin handy?

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