Saturday, September 20, 2008

Is there a pause button?

I just need a few days. That's all. Not a vacation, cause time keeps ticking even on a vacation. What I really need is for time to stop so I can get caught up. For.. say.. a day or two? Okay, three?!

Two evacuations back to back and I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

My brain is mush. I have so much I need to do - house-wise and errands. I need to go over my hurricane lists and see what worked and what did not and revise things. I really need to look at my food box choices. We soo needed more chips and snacks. Teens eat a lot. When stressed, they eat even MORE.

I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to do housework, run errands, cook, clean up, laundry, organize, work. And I must say... it's so bad that hubby and I have been sleeping on a flat sheet spread out on the bed with a comfortor to cover because I'm simply too tired to put the washed fresh sheets back on the bed. SERIOUSLY! Every night when we go to bed I start out saying it's such a shame that I haven't even gotten around to putting the blasted sheets back on the bed, and how I got them washed and dried and on the couch and then it stopped right there, and how lovely it would be to crawl into a bed with sheets on it for crying out loud. And what does my husband say? He says, "Come'ere. We'll just "camp" another night. Do it later." Awww.. when the kids were little and the sheets didn't make it on the bed (seeing a pattern here??) I would let them grab their sleeping bags and sleep on those on the bed or the floor. They said it was like camping in their rooms, and thus the name stuck!

Emotionally I am teetering. I cannot look at any more pictures or watch any more news coverage of the storm. I have to change the channel on the radio and I stopped reading the scroll at the bottom of the tv screen. It just brings up all those feelings from Rita. I know what those people are going thru. I know the frustration, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and never-ending work that they will be doing. It is kinda like posttraumatic stress. It's a flashback for me and what we went thru. I feel bad for sitting in my clean house with things relatively back to normal while they are struggling just to get a meal. We have areas around town providing food for those still without power or food. I remember being so angry to go to my neighbors after Rita and see her sit there after her shower in her robe, rocking in her recliner, food cooking on the stove, tv going, laundry folded.. her house intact. There were were, all five crammed in a camper, no room to cook, paper plates, quick meals, no place to stretch, schedules for showers, laundry piled up cause there was no room to store your clean clothes for FIVE people in a freaking camper. There was no room to move, to lounge, to relax. You either were in the bed, sitting on a couch, or standing. It was move so I can move. We did that for almost a year. While I was very grateful for having a place... it was hell.

Last night we drove thru some areas that were hit hard. Just about everyone on the street had a hugh pile or rubbish on the side of the road - sheetrock, mattresses, clothes, carpet, padding, closet doors, kitchen cabinets, .. the list goes on. Look around your house. See everything on the floors? That would all be soaked and need to be tossed. Stand near the wall and make a mark at 6 inches.. and 2 foot, and 5 foot. Anything below that mark would need to be tossed. Nasty mess! I'm glad to see we have learned from the past and are jumping up to make repairs. I wanted to knock on every door and cry with the people and tell them I KNOW what they are going thru. So sad. Just so very sad.

I need to plan the weekly menu, get coupons in order, grocery shop, put the sheets on the bed, put some folded clothes up, sweep, tidy up, get a gift for a 1-year-old, get a white shirt for Daniel, attend a party, bring one child to a different party, and find some time to relax in there! It's 10:00 already.. at least I have had my shower.

Time to get moving because I don't think I'll ever find that pause button.


Heather said...

That's how it still is around here, 3 months later. Piles and piles of trash out in front of flood-damaged houses, and red x's on doors, marking people's homes for demolition. It's so sad.

Your husband sounds like a sweetie. I don't think that my husband really gives a rat's behind what he sleeps on, as long he can snuggle up with me. Isn't it a good feeling?

Praying for you to feel better! I know it's really tough right now.

Amanda said...

If you find the pause button, make sure to loan it to me when you're done! At least you have a good excuse for being behind. As for me, I'm just lazy, LOL.

Cajunchic said...

I am so sorry Rachel. I can not even imagine how hard this all is since I am struggling with just seeing places that have been messed up lately. I am praying for you.