Thursday, March 26, 2009

Stimulating my Mind

Heather recommended this book for the worriers out there. It's not easy to change, but I'm willing to try things to lessen the anxiety. I checked it out from the public library.

Why would I need this book?

My sister was a part of a study. A free study. You know, where they pay you to go to the appointments, you take the medications, report back, etc. It was an anxiety study. But not just anxiety. Like, EXTREME anxiety.

This is an example of her thought process: She gives her daughter a cough drop on the way to school. As her daughter get out of the car and walks to the school the thoughts begin:

What is she chokes? Will anyone see her? Help her? She goes directly to the classroom and nobody is in there. The teacher across the hall peeks in on them. What if another kid pushes her and it lodges the cough drop in her throat? What if the teacher doesn't discover my child until she's on the floor and blue with a cough drop lodged in her throat. Will a kid run and get help if she chokes?? How are they gonna know it's a cough drop stuck in her throat??

And it goes on and on until she works herself up into a worry frenzy.

She said the medications help - so she knows she was not getting a placebo LOL She continued to see the doctor after the study and still takes medications. She said it really helps.

My brother has this to, but a different version. Ever leave your desk in a hurry at the end of the day? CAn you just slip in the next morning and start work? Probably not. You will want to tidy up so you can find things and start with a clean slate.

Most people are like this. My brother? Well.. his pencil/pens have to be in a certain spot. The papers have to go here. The phone there.. not here, THERE. The scratch paper here and the stapler there. Oh yah. He cannot work until everything is in it's place. It's PROPER place. He cannot get the brain fluids going until it's all orderly. Pretty much his whole life is like that. He has an palm pilot that has alarms set for all kinds of things. He has to check it to see what the heck it's reminding him to do! YIKES. He takes medications too. He said they work.

Where do I fall?

I"m the middle kid; the peacemaker. So, it's only natural I fall in the middle.

I can relate to my brother with the desk thing. I just cannot concentrate on work if things are not lined out properly.

I can sympathize with my sister. As a mom, we want to protect our kids. My thoughts can get to the extreme too. I once told Rich I had to worry for him because he wasn't worrying enough!! HUH?

It doesn't help that I'm an extrovert. I have to say the same things over and over. I have to hear them outloud. Then I can start to process things. I'm sure I drive my family crazy. If it don't do this, I'll be the one going crazy.

I know I worry more than the average person. I tend to go overboard often. My sane husband tries his best to keep me in line. I don't feel it's bad enough for medication, but I know now that it runs in the familayer and I need to keep an eye on things.

I don't know if it is a learned behavior - my dad will constantly line things up or straighten things up around him - he cannot just be still. He also loved torturing us as kids. A sleep over? In the yard? No tent? Ick. What about bugs? A dew? Enjoy your sleepover! Uhm, kinda hard now, Dad! My parents also reminded us time and time again, "And what will happen next?" I know they were teaching us about consequences.. but geeze.. I STILL fret over things and plan things for all scenarios that COULD POSSIBLY happen. ack!! Oh, it's great to be prepared and plan ahead.. but they kinda went overboard. It's engrained in me.

I don't want the same for my kids. That's why I'm reading the book. I need to lead by example.

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